26 February 2011

I find it hard to...

kelly clarkson -- because of you

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

(The song) It's about the cycle of families, like you act how your parents acted towards you and then your kids act how you acted towards them, and it's all about breaking that cycle if it was a bad one [...] It's one of those songs that everybody's kind of gonna relate to, but you're not happy about that. It's very close to home [for me]. I OK'd it with my family and everything because they think it's important, because we're obviously very different now than we were when we were younger. And it's important for people to see that raw kind of emotion that happens in life. It sucks sometimes, so it's important to see that I think.

Poate o melodie sau povestea ei ajuta sa accepti amintiri si gandurile din copilarie - care revin si revin, si par irationale si absurde, dar totusi neconvingatoare si de necombatut? oare cat poate 'inaltarea impresonala' sau 'catharsis'-ul sa vindece? De fapt poate?
Cred ca pentru prima oara in viata mea chiar imi doresc sa ma vindec, desi mi-e o frica paralizanta... primul pas!

Later edit - 27 februarie:
Numai ideea ca am hotarat sa incerc sa am incredere in ceilalti mi se pare inspaimantatoare... incepe tentatia renuntarii.
Momentul in care ideea este gandita reprezinta inceputul existentei sale, de nesters...

28 februarie:
Totusi... cum sa ceri incredere fara sa acorzi incredere? macar putina?! inca un cerc vicios fara o aparenta rezolvare...